So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
