Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
