he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
