i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
