dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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