Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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