This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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