I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.