You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
