You just made me feel so damn special
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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