Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
