I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize