Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
