I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
