are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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