): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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