I bet he comes in French.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just want to make out with him forever
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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