Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
