Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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