The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
