Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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