what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
