Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
