I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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