Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
this hospital has no fireball
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
