So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
