Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
