I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
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I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
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After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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