it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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