Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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