is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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