I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
