Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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