I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
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Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
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Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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