It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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