im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
