This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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