I smell stomach acid.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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