Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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