i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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