I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
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It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
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I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I am available for nakedness
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