dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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