I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
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Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
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Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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