Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize