I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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