if i can run in heels then i can drive
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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