He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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