How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
