woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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