Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
