it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
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I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
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Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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