someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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