ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
