arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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