it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
