ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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