I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
