i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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