how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
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