.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
