thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
