U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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