Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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